Bravo! Gobsmacked I did not see the twist coming. The image up top works great as a mislead while still honestly reflecting part of the story. You know it's a good twist when you have to rewind and unscrew your entire image of the narrator and your whole brain gets twisted inside out. Can't remember the last short story I read that managed that. What a feeling. Either I'm an easy foil, or the misdirection was A+. Well done all around! Hope Chuck gloves this.
Sleek bars:
+ 50 is The Empire Strikes Back. 49 is The Phantom Menace.
+ Groundbreaking stuff. Wait until you see it.
+ We were really cutting into that cushion I thought we didn’t need.
Really appreciate the feedback - thanks for taking the time to check it out! It's been difficult for me to know the point at which readers figure out what is actually happening, so it's comforting to know I at least misled one person. As for the "reads like a typo," I'm not sure I've ever really liked the way that sentence read. Probably should rework it.
Bravo! Gobsmacked I did not see the twist coming. The image up top works great as a mislead while still honestly reflecting part of the story. You know it's a good twist when you have to rewind and unscrew your entire image of the narrator and your whole brain gets twisted inside out. Can't remember the last short story I read that managed that. What a feeling. Either I'm an easy foil, or the misdirection was A+. Well done all around! Hope Chuck gloves this.
Sleek bars:
+ 50 is The Empire Strikes Back. 49 is The Phantom Menace.
+ Groundbreaking stuff. Wait until you see it.
+ We were really cutting into that cushion I thought we didn’t need.
Read like a typo at first, fwiw:
- Volunteer #1, he of the hands
Really appreciate the feedback - thanks for taking the time to check it out! It's been difficult for me to know the point at which readers figure out what is actually happening, so it's comforting to know I at least misled one person. As for the "reads like a typo," I'm not sure I've ever really liked the way that sentence read. Probably should rework it.
I was also misled. Well done.
Alright! Got another one…
Thanks for reading it!
I read it backwards found it riveting changes in context
That's a fun little exercise, reading it in reverse. I feel like that could help me better identify issues/holes with the story.
You held that so well, as it were, right to the end. 👏
Thanks Caz! Glad you enjoyed the story, and I appreciate the “subscribe” too.