50% of men don’t use soap to wash their hands after using a public restroom, and 15% don’t wash their hands at all. I didn’t use to either. *** Back when that orange guy from TV was the president, Tina would buy smokes for us at Chino’s and we’d sit on the fallen headstones in Maplewood Cemetery giving ourselves COPD while I angled to get my dick wet. But some girl named Megan had a law named after her and Tina didn’t want to end up on the registry, so instead we made up stories about how the people died while my hard-on leaked batter into my shorts.
Phew! This one was a bit of a tough read for me because I have OCD and you're announcing from the very beginning where this is all going. So, basically I was watching a fall, waiting for the guy to hit the ground. And what a fall... You have this knack for realistic body horrors that also makes me think, in a way, of David Cronenberg. The post-op sex made me think of Crash. Good close, with a brief statement that only implies the crucial information. And as always, I love the combination of irony, dark humor, lurid details, and melancholy. Great job!
Such interesting and helpful feedback, as usual - thank you. I hadn’t thought of Crash when writing this, but there is certainly a shadow of it here. And if I can be even a fraction as successful as Cronenberg, well…I’d be very happy indeed. I hoped to instill a sense of impending doom for the reader right from the start, and maybe I accomplished that.
Phew! This one was a bit of a tough read for me because I have OCD and you're announcing from the very beginning where this is all going. So, basically I was watching a fall, waiting for the guy to hit the ground. And what a fall... You have this knack for realistic body horrors that also makes me think, in a way, of David Cronenberg. The post-op sex made me think of Crash. Good close, with a brief statement that only implies the crucial information. And as always, I love the combination of irony, dark humor, lurid details, and melancholy. Great job!
Such interesting and helpful feedback, as usual - thank you. I hadn’t thought of Crash when writing this, but there is certainly a shadow of it here. And if I can be even a fraction as successful as Cronenberg, well…I’d be very happy indeed. I hoped to instill a sense of impending doom for the reader right from the start, and maybe I accomplished that.
Oh, yeah! You certainly did. Absolutely 😊